Spring Forward?

I love time in the winter
Wintertime
The opposite of daylight saving time
Daylight killing time?
You can get home from work at 6pm
You can go to sleep directly then
“Did you know that’s called depression?”
Did you know I don’t care?
What happens when you’ve run out of motivation
And dedication
And commitment
And desire
To try something new
Or keep up with something else
When your basic needs are met
And there’s so much in the past you regret
That’s gotten you to the point you are now
And
And yet
You can’t do anything to change it
…or you won’t do anything to change it
The energy you used to have
The joy things used to give
Not too much to die
Not enough to live
The overbearing weight of it all
The world that rises
The words that fall
Micro
Macro
Stand, walk, run, and fall
Before giving up on it all
What to do after giving up on it all
All needs satisfied
Except what to do with our lives
A blessed place to be
Unless it’s for me
Give me a happy ending
Or any ending
That means something
Between myths and by dreams
No more legends it seems
Truths bearing
Fiction and fates failing
To succeed means
Many more things
Than I could ever give or say or state or know
Trailing
Always feels like I’m behind
But looking ahead
Traveling slower than time
With too much tread
To start over new
With all the things that I knew
Impossible
Even if life could give that chance
When falling apart
To hold such a stance
But the worst thought is
What if it’s a state and not an action
A noun and not a verb
“Falling apart” suggests change
Not homeostasis
If I run out of stamina
And I can no longer chase this
Whatever this is
I don’t know anymore
If I ever knew before
I guess it only matters
And only makes it worse
If I actually knew before
What it once felt like
To have hope for tomorrow
To be restless
Not listless
And to be fine not to follow
But there is no leader
And there is no path
I wish I could see
Or I wasn’t so lazy
To tell my own
To make my own
A kingdom come
Dethroned
Leaving me to my own
No directions to guide
No sins to atone
I wish I had an answer
To which way I should run